I know the real reason men get married and I am outing you guys. It has nothing to do with how well she cooks, or how she makes you feel like the king of the world or any of that other stuff we women love to hear.
It’s so you can get directions when you get lost and still save face.
Ladies, how many times has your husband, after the fourth time you suggest that according to the map you might be lost, has he said, “Fine, you go in and ask them how to get to route 50 if you don’t trust me to get us there!”
For Thanksgiving this year we decided to drive to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware to spend time with my husband’s family for a change. It’s been about four years since we last made the trip and we were definitely overdue. One would think that my husband would be well acquainted with the various routes, having lived in Rehoboth for a number of years and having spent holidays with his brother or his sister before we got married.
Alas, it turns out he knows one route by heart and the others are sort of a hit or miss. Every time we’ve gone in the past, we go up the Eastern Shore and come home via 301. This year due to traffic reports of backups in the Hampton Rhoads tunnel and on 64 towards the Bay Bridge Tunnel – we decided to go up 301. Or so I thought. On a lark, Wednesday night at 5 pm, he decides to take I-95 North to catch 301 above Richmond. He gets in the far left lane, lays the hammer down and off we go. At the Atlee-Elmont exit I suggest that he get over to the right hand lane since traffic was hideous and the exit would be coming up shortly. “I know what I am doing,” he says with only a hint of “would you like to drive?” in his voice. He’s still in the left lane when I see the signs indicating the exit is coming up. “So, Hon, you might want to start working your way over. The exit is in 2 miles.” Silence. “Honey?”..Silence. “The exit is coming up.” “I know that I just want to get ahead of that car.” “But there’s a break behind him if you’ll just slow down a bit…and we are getting off the interstate in about a mile anyway, so who cares?” Silence; except for the sound of acceleration as he attempts to pass the car that has no intention of letting a mini-van with a Mickey Mouse antenna topper pass. Needless to say, 2 miles later he was able to get into the center lane, behind the aforementioned car with the exit a mile behind us.
I’ve been married to this man for ten years; I know when to keep my own counsel as he starts muttering about where we might be able to pick up 301 again. I’m also familiar with the spots where one can easily “pick up 301 again” in Virginia and knew we weren’t going to see 301 again until we were on the other side of DC.
In the end, we got to his sister’s house with only a few minor detours through the countryside of Delaware and one stop to ask for directions. We made remarkably good time, all things considered, and from my husband’s point of view, he is right up there with Lewis and Clark in terms of charting his way. (I refrained from reminding him, that without Sacagawea, they probably would have wound up in Central America.)
Mairead Walpole is the pen name for a somewhat introverted project and contract manager who has 20+ years of business and technical writing under her belt. In her spare time, Mairead reviews books for Crystal Reviews (www.crystalreviews.com) and writes paranormal romance. Her first novel, “A Love Out of Time” is available through Second Wind Publishing (www.secondwindpublishing.com) or Amazon.com.