Author Archives: Coco Ihle

About Coco Ihle

I am the author of SHE HAD TO KNOW, a mystery about two long lost sisters who reunite and nearly lose their lives searching for an ancient treasure and a murderer in a castle in Scotland. I am a member of MWA, FWA, SinC, Alma,a family search organization, Clan Buchanan of Scotland, and Linkedin. My website is www.cocoihle.com

Christmas With Bob Hope

The last few days I’ve been putting up my Christmas decorations with the sound of carols playing in the background. This time of year is always a time for reminiscing for me, and while unpacking, one storage box held memories from 1966. Inside was a garland of realistic holly, boxwood and pine intertwined with miniature old world lanterns that light up. I remember splurging on it at a department store Christmas boutique that year. The Vietnam War was on and my husband was stationed with the USAF in northeast Thailand at Nakhon Phanom Royal Thai Air Force Base. The amazing thing about that garland is that it still works! I’ve never replaced anything on it, and it’s been lighting a wall or fireplace mantle every Christmas since, for 48 years!

As I stepped back to admire the garland, memories flooded back of that time my husband was gone. In those days there was no R&R (Rest and Recuperation Leave) for our troops overseas at the half-way mark and no phone calls for the entire year. The Internet and Skype didn’t exist. Only letters. How the men looked forward to letters from home and an occasional gift package.

Probably the most exciting time for them that year was a visit from Bob Hope. Stars accompanying Mr. Hope were Vic Damone, Phyllis Diller, Joey Heatherton, and Miss World, Anita Bryant, plus some minor acts. The men at the Nakhon Phanom base talked about it for weeks ahead of time and families at home were eager to see the Bob Hope Christmas Special when it came out in January to see if they could catch a glimpse of their son, brother, uncle, husband, or father.

I remember my son and I sat on the living room floor as close as we could get to my parents-in-law’s TV without blocking anyone else’s view, to see if we could find my husband in the crowd. He had written to say he was in front sitting on the ground only about ten feet away from the stage. During the special, everything happened so fast and there were so many faces to search, I couldn’t be sure we actually saw him or not, but the important thing was that the troops were able to see Bob Hope and company. What a thrill it was to them! I wish there were DVRs then!

Not all the memories of that time were good ones. Last month was Veteran’s Day and many Americans thought of all the sacrifices our soldiers have made for their country. I’d like to mention the sacrifices of the families of those soldiers as well. That year my husband and I missed sharing the celebration of our birthdays, our anniversary, several extended family events and a year of our 4 year old son’s life in a country that wasn’t very supportive. My husband’s paycheck documents got lost and for several months, we had no money coming in at all. It was a difficult time sometimes, but we persevered until his return. We considered ourselves really blessed that he was able to come back to us!

Ninteen sixty-six was a different time and military families have some advantages since then, but they also have more challenges and difficulties than ever before. I just hope that as we celebrate this holiday season, we remember the families, as well as the soldiers and airmen, for the dedicated, selfless people they are. And that those families have something nice to remind them of their sacrifice, like my garland that keeps staying lit.

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My New Word for Nostalgia

This is the time of year many of us have musings of a bygone time in our lives and we call it nostalgia. I always thought “nostalgia” was a sad word, because it brought to mind events of the past that we could only relive in our memories, of a time already gone that we could not visit again. The dictionary says nostalgia is a longing or homesickness for something far away or long ago for former happy circumstances. That longing is what gives sadness to the word.

To remedy this, I made up a new word. “Hearthy.” To me, hearthy is a happy sounding word to start with, and it illustrates the mood or moods of this time of year. When I ponder on the word hearthy, I think of brightly-colored falling leaves and shuffling through them on the way to somewhere; bobbing for apples; lounging on a braided rug in front of a fireplace all aglow; watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV; looking up at the stars on a still, crisp night; listening to the carols of the season; catching the first flakes of snow on my tongue. These are not just memories of the past, but things that can be experienced year after year. Now, and in the future. That’s what makes hearthy — happy.

In my office, I have bookshelves on either side of my desk that are filled with photos of my family and friends. When I enter each day I am greeted by them and often I find myself thinking about and remembering favorite times with them. Granted, some of those people have passed away, but I have made peace with that, and only think of them in happy terms now. Although they are part of nostalgia, I prefer to think of them when I am doing something hearthy and they become part of my hearthy life rather than my past nostalgia one. I have no idea if that makes any sense to you, dear reader, but for me, it’s a way to remember without being sad.

So, here it is November. I’m probably one of the few who still sends out Christmas cards to almost a hundred people each year and I’ve got them all ready to address and to write a little note in each. I’ll start putting up Christmas decorations soon and make my power company happy for the next couple of months. As I decorate the tree, hearthy thoughts will fill the room as brightly as the hundreds of lights that sparkle on it.

Hearthy holidays!

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Recovering From a Loss

I’m trying to deal with the particularly devastating loss of my friend and neighbor, Marianne, who passed away Tuesday morning after a 29 year battle with cancer. Like sisters, we shared a great deal of each other’s lives and interests. She taught me so much about living fully, I know I will be okay, eventually, but right now I feel a bit lost.

There’s a heavy weight in the pit of my stomach not only for me, but in my sympathy for her family and special friends. Marianne was one of those rare people who was, to use the cliché, larger than life. She inspired everyone she met, with her empathy and understanding and by her accomplishments: award winning watercolorist, stained glass artist, tile artist, skilled gardener. She was humble, helpful, generous, kind and loyal. She made everyone around her happy. How does one recover from losing a friend like that?

I’m in, what people call, my senior years, so loss is not something new to me, but this one has hit me harder than all the rest. I think Marianne would understand that, but she also would want me and the other people who are having a difficult time right now, to carry on, be strong and strive to be the best we can be. She was passionate and determined like that.

For me, it’s been helpful to have some time alone to mourn and regather my priorities. But not too much time. Keeping busy is the next step. Particularly with something useful and helpful to others. I do have a volunteer job I love. Marianne taught me the importance of doing something nice for myself, as well. I love to read and I’m saving up for a Kindle. I’m probably one of the few authors who have never seen their own book on an e-reader.

I have a couple painting projects waiting. One is enhancing a mural I did several years ago of a rock wall in my sunroom, and another is a portrait of a Grecian statue for my new bathroom. I’d like to go back to stained  glass class and make some projects for my family. I just finished a jigsaw puzzle and I’m ready for a new one. And one of Marianne’s friends and I plan to continue doing some of the things we three used to do.

Writing this has helped me form my sense of direction. So Marianne, I pledge to try my best to become a little more like you — to Aspire to Inspire before I Expire. Rest in peace my precious friend.

Marianne

Marianne

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Time for Bubbles-Champagne-That Is

Exactly seven months ago today, I signed the contract for my master bath remodel and I can proudly say it is finally done, as of yesterday! Yeaaaaay!! And in my humble opinion, it is gorgeous!

Before I get to the photos, I’d like to share what I have learned about remodeling, since this was my first major one. I was told by the company I hired, that my remodel was quite different than most, because I designed the project and researched and bought most of the supplies myself: sinks, toilet, shower and sink fixtures, medicine cabinet, ceiling tin, wall and ceiling light fixtures, columns, and all the tile. And I faux finished the ceiling and the Greek columns. Usually the remodeling company handles all that and the customer just pays for it all.

Regardless of how it is done, I suggest that impeccable records be kept of everything. Period. A diary is ideal if it includes how much things cost, but also when items were installed. It was more complicated for me because I had to keep track of my own costs for sinks, for instance, and also costs regarding the company I hired, mainly demo, installation and extras. Take pictures before the project starts and periodically along the way. They will be fun to see later.

I learned that remodeling costs more than you plan for. If you want anything out of the ordinary, like Champagne Bronze plumbing fixtures, you will have to pay an “up-charge,” sometimes called a “change order.” That will be in addition to the estimate you initially received from the contractor.

Also, the estimated time for completion is likely to be longer than expected. In my case, a lot longer. That actually worked in my favor, because it gave me additional time to save money to cover those unexpected extra costs.

At tally-up time, since I kept impeccable records, I even found a couple discounts my contractor forgot. That saved me money and made me happy. One of my discounts came through Angie’s List, so I recommend it.

And now, without further ado…here are the photos I promised. Want to share some bubbly with me? (Click on photos to enlarge.)

Before-Window Seat

Before-Window Seat

 

 

 

 

 

Before Vanity

Before Vanity

 

 

 

 

After-Window Seat

After-Window Seat

 

 

 

 

 

After-Vanity

After-Vanity

 

 

 

 

After - Shower

After – Shower

 

 

 

 

After - Column Capital

After – Column Capital

 

 

 

 

 

After - Column Base

After – Column Base

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Why is “I’m Sorry” So Difficult?

It’s not for me. But I’ve known some people for years who have never been able to voice their apology. Is it because they can’t admit they made a mistake? Or because, whatever it was, was not their fault and therefore, they felt their apology wasn’t warranted? Are they just being stubborn? Egotistical? Insecure?

I’ve always looked at it as an empathy issue. If someone feels slighted or fibbed to or is the victim of some injustice, I, in turn, feel bad for them and sympathize with them, whether or not it has anything to do with me. That gives the “victim’s” feelings—validation, which is usually all they want. I’m not talking about the “constant complainer.” Some people aren’t happy unless they are miserable. I’ve known those kinds of people, too. I’m referring to us average, everyday folks.

We’ve all heard, “The customer is always right” in a business situation and businesses try to satisfy their customers as much as is reasonable in order to keep them happy. Most of the time this is still true in today’s world.

Recently, I had two separate incidences where appointments were made for someone to do some work in my home on certain days. Not only did both workmen not show up, they never bothered to call to explain why. I had cancelled my plans so I could be available those days and I waited and waited all day, both days for them. Do you think I had the justification to be annoyed? I certainly do. And in both instances, I was not contacted the next day, either, for an explanation. I had to call them to find out when they would be coming. I was angry by that time. I did get an explanation, finally, but I didn’t feel I got a proper apology for either instance.

To me, that kind of behavior is unprofessional. Period. How long does it take to make a phone call? A whole minute, perhaps? To me there is no excuse for not calling. None.

I may have made a mistake in bringing this slight to the attention of one of the bosses of a business. The danger of complaining is that it sometimes makes people angry with you and could result in, any work left to do, getting done in a rushed manner without regard to quality care. So what is a customer to do? Keep quiet and feel abused? Say something and hope the boss will care enough to make sure it never happens again?

My instinct tells me that the boss I spoke with does care and wants me to be happy. What has been an exciting and delightful experience, has tried to morph itself into a worry for me, but I have decided to be my usual positive self and believe all will turn out perfectly.

On another note, I apologize to you dear reader for not continuing this month with my remodel series of blogs. I have been faux painting my Grecian columns and they have taken longer than expected. Next month, I promise, I’ll have pictures of my spectacular new master bathroom. Hope you’ll tune it then.

Comments?

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Remodel News

For those who don’t know why I started remodeling my master bathroom (with the help of a contracting company), it was a bucket list item hastened by a destructive leak while I was on vacation. I should have turned off my water when I left, but some lessons have to be learned the hard way. So, when I returned, there was water damage from the bathroom, through the wall, into my foyer and out my front door. I had the leak fixed and lived nearly a year with empty cabinets and boxes of bathroom stuff sitting around my bedroom and guest bedroom, while I madly saved for the forthcoming remodel.

During this time, I looked at magazines, searched online and visited showrooms to give me ideas how to proceed. I started an indexed notebook and filled it with those ideas and researched everything I could think of that would be needed. I knew it would be expensive and I didn’t want to make even more expensive mistakes.

By the time I was ready to start, I had a pretty clear idea what design I wanted, what fixtures in lighting and plumbing were compatible with my design and then I stumbled on my first inspiration piece—tile. A one foot square of mosaic cemented my design ideas. From there it was easy to select the rest of the tile—floor, shower floor and walls. The color scheme was in the mosaic; from crème all the way through the beiges, browns, to black. I had a warm color scheme, so I selected warm colors for the ceiling and champagne bronze lighting fixtures and faucets/drains and shower head/drain, even the toilet handle, toilet paper holder and towel bars. The granite for the vanity was also easy; something to compliment the colors already selected. I chose a very dark, almost black stone with muted, mottled brown and gray-green splotches with faint clear crystals throughout. It sounds odd, but is actually quite stunning, I think.

My second inspiration piece—a tin ceiling. I chose a pattern that would fit my several difficult angles of the ceiling and then selected the tiles in a shiny gold finish. Before they were installed, I faux painted them to look antiqued with a dark brown paint and then polished the raised portions so the shiny gold came through. I have to admit I was a little apprehensive since I had never tried to faux finish anything before, but I practiced on some samples ahead of time until I felt comfortable with it.

My third inspiration piece—Grecian columns. I have a wide window seat opposite the entrance to the bathroom with a ten foot palladian window above it. I decided to flank each side of the seat with a column, faux painted marble. After researching online, I found a company that makes fiberglass columns and ordered two. The columns aren’t up yet, but I’m practicing marbling technique now. It’s a lot more difficult to create a look of marble than I thought. Cross fingers that I can do it!

The surprise came when I hired my contracting company. They said they have never had a customer like me before. What? They said people hired them to come up with a design, execute it and the customer would pay for it. Period. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. How could a contractor know what the customer had in mind? What if the customer didn’t like what was done? My contractor said people just want something current and functional and they depend on the company to provide them with that and they’re satisfied. Wow. It never occurred to me that people wouldn’t want to be intimately involved with a project like mine. Maybe it’s because I’m retired and have more time than they do. Or maybe I just love designing. I just hope my contractor doesn’t think I’m a pest, since I have my own ideas.

I have to say the workmen who have been putting together this dream bathroom have certainly seemed to enjoy doing something different. Certainly, installing the ceiling and the tile floor were challenges they had not faced before and the guys left with grins on their faces and their chests puffed out. I felt their pride and it made me so happy.

We’re not done yet. The seemless, shower door and the mirror over the vanity will be arriving in a few days and also the cabinetry for the window seat isn’t here yet. When those are installed, it will be time for the columns to go up. Then there will be an overall check to make sure all is done to everyone’s satisfaction and the contractor will be finished. Then I’ll place the towels on their towel bars and the curtains in the windows and set up my perfume bottles on a mirrored tray and fill the cabinets and my dream will be complete. Champagne time!

Next blog, dear reader, should be the last accounting of this remodel. I’ll have pictures. Hope you’ll be back to see them. Till then… ciao!

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“Mommy, I So Es-cited!”

Hello, again, dear reader. Sorry to have to tell you my bathroom isn’t done yet, but it’s coming along nicely. The faux painting on my tin ceiling tiles went smoother than I expected, especially since I didn’t know how to faux paint tin ceiling tiles. After experimenting with some sample pieces, I got the hang of what I wanted and plunged ahead on the first two-foot-square tile. Thirty-five, two-foot-square tiles later, three pieces of vaulted-ceiling center molding, and with my torso now stuck in a leaning forward position, I was done. The next day after wrangling the kinks out of my back, I followed with a clear coat.

When the guys came to install the tin ceiling, it was all I could do to keep from standing in the center of the bathroom, directing the operation. I quickly discovered, my contractor had placed me in the hands of two geniuses and my help was absolutely not needed. I was able to sneak a peek now and then, though. Wow, what a spectacular job they did! Here’s a peek for you.

Installing Tin Ceiling

Installing Tin Ceiling

 

 

 

 

Most of Ceiling

Most of Ceiling

 

 

 

 

After the ceiling was up, the guys brought in my brand new custom ninety-inch cherry double vanity and fit it along one wall.

The next day was granite countertop and four-inch backsplash day. The granite is called Peacock Green and does have a dark green hue, but feels mostly black with smudges of brown, making a nice contrast to the white undermount sinks. Sparkly mica peeps through the stone every now and then, too, adding a touch of bling. Holes were made and the sinks were glued into place and held with braces.

Custom Vanity

Custom Vanity

 

 

 

 

I’m learning that in remodeling, there are stages in which things happen and certain trades people have to be called in at certain times during these stages. For instance, the plumber came in after demo and made sure the shower wall was set up for the new shower fixtures and he and I discussed where a niche will be for shampoo and such. And the electrician came to find out how many and where switches and dimmers would be located. They’ll be back again later. Meanwhile, other trades people will do their jobs, sometimes in stages, too. It’s terpsichorean trickery for a contractor to schedule trades for just one project, much less several. I don’t know how they do it. FYI, Terpsichore (pronounced, terp-sick-er-ree) is the Greek Muse of the dance. I love her name; sounds musical). But I digress.

For the last two days, the tile guys have been here cutting and laying down the eighteen inch floor tiles. Outlining each, I am using an approximately one inch band of tiny three-eighth inch mosaic pieces of polished marble, ranging in colors from black through beiges to white. Because the pieces are polished and small they glitter in the light next to the larger matt floor tile. The whole effect is spectacular! I’m so fortunate I keep getting geniuses assigned to my project! Wow! It’s even more beautiful than I imagined. I feel as though I’ve used up all the space in the Cloud with my pictures.

Mosaic and Tile Floor

Mosaic and Tile Floor

 

 

 

 

Today is shower tile day. I just peeked and the twenty-four inch square mosaic medallion, which faces the vanity across the room and will be reflected in the mirror above, matches the mosaic outlining the floor tiles. A dark brown marble pencil surrounding the medallion sets it off against the one foot by two-foot vertical shower tiles. “Wow” is the only word I can think of right now. Reminds me of when the A-Team guy said, “I love it when a plan comes together.” Remember that? This plan is definitely coming together. Yessss!

Mosaic and Tile-Shower

Mosaic and Tile-Shower

Tile Guys-Joe and Roger

Tile Guys-Joe and Roger

 

 

 

 

 

Tomorrow is grouting day and I’ll find out what else will happen after that. Thank you for your patience. I promise it won’t be long and I’ll have some great pictures to share with you. As my son used to say when he was a toddler, “Mommy, I so es-cited!”

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Is Your Brain on Overload?

Mine is. For the last several months I’ve been preparing for an overhaul of my master bathroom. It all started while I was on vacation last summer. A pipe sprang a leak in the wall behind the built-in vanity and, to make a long story shorter, my neighbor across the street noticed water coming out my front door. She leaped into action and shut off the water. Remodeling my master bathroom was on my bucket list; just not this soon. Oh, well.

Naturally, my insurance company wanted only to pay for the repair of what was actually damaged, so they compensated me accordingly. There was no damage to the sinks, after all. However, who in their right mind would reinsert pink sinks into a brand new 2014 vanity? Not too fetching, me thinks. And what about the matching pink floor tile, pink toilet and pink shower? They weren’t actually damaged either. My insurance company thought they would look just fine with the new 2014 vanity, too. Ugh. My sarcastic side says, “That ought to raise the value of my home!” Now I have a better understanding of the oxymoron term “replacement value” in insurance policies.

Sooooo, I bit the bullet and decided to go whole hog and deck out my bathroom like I had money to burn. Did I use enough clichés in that last sentence for ya? A full remodel was in order.

The first step was selecting an inspiration piece on which to base color and style. I found it in a twelve-inch mesh of tiny three-eight-inch polished natural stone mosaics. The pattern was random, but spectacular. My mind drifted to mosaic temple floors and walls I’d seen in Italy and Greece. Eureka! I’d found it. The colors for my project would be natural stone beige, crème, brown, white and black, accented with brushed-gold tones.

The mosaic, outlined by a darker pencil tile, will be the star of the shower wall facing the vanity through seamless glass.

Eighteen inch matt tiles set on the diagonal with three rows of the mosaic tile as separators will comprise the floor. The polished stone suggests a more formal feel, so I chose white Austrian curtains for the rather large palladian window and smaller window and will frame them with a formal black valance and drapery at the sides. I’m half-way through sewing these items, myself. My plumbing fixtures are a champagne bronze color, which looks like a subtle brushed brass, and are reflected also in the vanity pulls and knobs.

Above the double, white rectangular sinks and mirror the lighting fixtures are Etruscan bronze with crystal drops intertwined among bronze leaves. And hanging from the vaulted ceiling center is a matching Etruscan crystal chandelier. The ceiling itself will be a gold colored tin that I’m in the process of faux finishing to accentuate its three dimensional recesses. Crown molding will anchor the ceiling and hide warm-white LED light strips which will highlight the ceiling’s metal sheen.

The pièce de resistance, however, will be Grecian Columns measuring six feet tall by six inches in diameter placed on either side of the window seat below the palladian window. The seat itself will have a cushion and pillows, suggesting a cozy reading nook. Drawers will pull out below the window seat for storage. Then, of course, there’s the little splashes of “jewelry” that add the finishing touches, such as tissue holder, drinking glass, small trash can, and towels and wash cloths, bath rug, etc. I’ll add those later when the room is otherwise complete.

Whew! I’ve unloaded my brain. So, what do you think? Does this room spell fantasy and luxury? Hopefully it will be complete before my next blog. I’ll include before and after photos then.

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Author Anne George’s Vulcan

While looking through photos I took a few years ago of Eastern Europe, one in particular reminded me of a very special and favorite writer, Anne George. Anne was also the first writer I ever met and she, upon learning I was interested in becoming a writer myself, was full of enthusiasm and encouragement. I attended many of her book signings and fell in love with her Southern Sisters series of cozy mysteries. People often tended to be discouraging to the fledgling me, but not Anne. She may be a huge reason I am writing this blog today. I listened to her and she inspired me to stick with it until I was published.

Anne George

Anne George

 

 

 

 

 

This post is not about me, however. Anne’s Southern Sisters Series is about two sixty-something, totally opposite sisters who live in Birmingham, Alabama. The narrator, Patricia Anne, is petite, both in height and weight and is a retired school teacher who has been happily married to Fred for forty years. She tries to live a Southern Ladylike life, but it’s not easy to be prim and proper with a sister like hers who calls her, “Mouse.”

Mary Alice is five years older and admits to weighing 250 pounds and, as she says, “is five foot twelve inches tall.” She is known as “Sister” and has been married three times to incredibly wealthy and much older men, all of whom left her widowed, and who are all buried together in Elmwood Cemetery. Mary Alice is constantly on the lookout for a good time and invariably this causes trouble for them both—and hilarity for the reader.

Since the sisters live in Birmingham, Alabama, there are sites mentioned in the books that will be familiar to readers who know the city. But, I have spoken to readers who have visited Birmingham just so they could see those sites. One in particular, mentioned several times in various books is seen from Patricia Anne’s kitchen window; the bare backside of the god Vulcan, a towering monument to the iron and steel industry of the area, sculpted by Giuseppe Moretti in 1904. This sculpture is not fiction, it actually exists. The photo below was taken by Kent Russell and is on Flickr.

Vulcan

Vulcan

 

 

 

 

This brings me back to perusing my Eastern Europe photos. While in Belgrade, Serbia, I took a photo that reminded me immediately of Anne George’s Vulcan. I’m not meaning to make light of either of the monuments, it’s just the similarity is quite arresting. The Victor Monument in the Belgrade Fortress, sculpted by Ivan Mestrovic (1928) was erected to celebrate the breakthrough of the Thessalonica front in WWI. But, the two sculptures resemble one another, and I couldn’t help smiling as I thought of my friend Anne George.

Serbian momument

Serbian momument

 

 

 

 

 

The Southern Sisters series consists of eight books. For those of you who have not read them, I heartily encourage you to give them a try. They are delightful. In addition, Anne, a poet of some renown, was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize for a book of verse titled Some of It Is True. Sadly, she passed away in 2001 and I was never able to thank her for her inspiration and encouragement, but she and her books will live forever in my heart and on my bookshelves, and in many others’ as well.

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Artistic New Port Richey, FL

New Port Richey, with a population of approximately 15,000, is about 35 miles northwest of Tampa in Pasco County on the Gulf of Mexico. One to two story buildings comprise the main thoroughfare which is lined with street lights topped by old-time glass globes, adding charming ambiance to mainly small businesses and restaurants, and much of the architecture of years ago has been preserved. The Pithlachascotee River (try to say that three times fast!) meanders through the downtown area with a river walk for visitors and residents alike to enjoy. In the 1920’s, New Port Richey was gaining a reputation as the Hollywood of the East, since many famous people and movie stars visited and bought homes here. The depression years changed that and it remained a small, but lovely city.

Over the last several years artists have been encouraged to paint historic themed murals on the downtown buildings and I recently decided to walk around and take pictures. What was originally to be a photographic exercise turned out to be a relaxing and delightful afternoon’s stroll of discovery.

Some of the murals had a whimsical feel, others were a tromp l’oeil experience. I had the feeling some of the likenesses were of past leaders of the community, people with whom I was unfamiliar, but it didn’t matter. If that were true, I was glad they were recognized.

I returned home feeling pleased I live in such a creative community, a place where people value history and the arts. I felt inspired to try being creative in some way too. I felt happy.

Does something about your community inspire you or make you happy?

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