Author Archives: donovangalway

About donovangalway

American born middle kid of a large family, I was fed a steady diet of classic novels from an early age. I loved the worlds opened to me through fiction but never lost grasp with reality. Late in my 40's, I met and fell in love with a girl in Belfast who encouraged me to publish some of my stories. Through her, I published "The Calibos Factor" and have never stopped writing since.

Gun Control

It’s not just what you say or even how you say it.  It’s when and where.  No matter how prophetic your thought nor how reasonably it is presented, it can come off poorly when spoken at the wrong time.  This occurred to me as I was stating how dull and pointless golf was and how young people should find more productive things to do with their time just as Rory McElroy walked by.

I never seem to be at the right place and time to express myself.  I sorely wish I had been in the studio as Alex Jones went phycho on Piers Morgan over the very suggestion of gun control.  I wish I had been as it would have been a perfect opportunity to say absolutely nothing.  As a believer in the need for gun control in America, I could not possibly have made a better argument for restriction than did Jones.  Who in their right mind would have put a loaded gun in the hands of that ranting, screaming, frothing lunatic at that moment?  I guarantee you the whole studio would have been diving for cover.

I firmly believe in the U.S. Constitution and support its need in America.  Far more than Jones, in fact, as he screamed that Piers Morgan should be deported for speaking his mind about a political issue.  This in itself directly contradicts the very Constitution over which he was so busy making an ass of himself.  But despite his short-sided temper tantrum, at no point in history did the constitution grant Americans the right to keep and bear automatic weapons.  I can’t imagine them writing these laws back in 1791 and thinking “What about machine guns?”

“There’s no such thing,” another might have said.  “It takes half an hour to load a gun.”

“But they might invent them.”

“True.  But let’s cross that bridge when we come to it.  Now what about plasma disbursing ray guns?”

The second amendment to the Constitution grants Americans the right to keep and bear arms but not any arms.  When the son of a prominent celebrity was arrested for having an anti-aircraft cannon in his living room, he did not try to claim his constitutional right to have it.  Why?  Because he had no such right.  This proves there is a line but where is that line drawn?  What is an allowable firearm and what is a phallic crutch for an insecure, paranoid lunatic (like Jones)?

To define this we must look at why the law was drafted in the first place.  Like most laws back then, this law was drafted primarily because it was something the British didn’t want us to have.  People under British rule in “acquired” countries were rarely permitted to carry weapons.  This is why such activities as the highland games and hurling were conceived.  It gave people an excuse to carry potentially dangerous things.  (Hurling is actually about 3,000 years old but they knew the Brits were coming) The Brits knew too well that if they put a loaded weapon in the hands of an Scot, an Irishman, a North African, an Indian, an American… the first thing they’d have done was point it at the closest Brit.  So they did in America as they had in so many other places and impose law forbidding weapons.

British law was fairly oppressive way back then.  People were taxed to backbreaking degrees though the taxed masses had no say in how their taxes were spent.  The government was rich and corrupt.  Courts were biased.  People were forced to pay for a licence just to own a television… (Wait. Nevermind that one).  Even the right to choose a religion was at the discretion of the crown.  So when the yanks began making their own laws, they drew them up less to give us what we wanted than to give us what England didn’t want us to have.  We deliberately contradicted every right denied us by the British.  They taxed us as they chose so we adopted the “Taxation without Representation” law.  We can have any religion we want or none if we choose and they don’t even get to ask us what we chose.  I spent five years as a Frisbitarian.  Worshiping the Frisbee, we believed when you die your soul goes up on the roof and you can’t get it down.  We can believe that if we want.

America was committed to going anti-British where ever possible.  This is why it’s so hard to get back bacon or a decent cup of tea in America (and don’t even get me started on page three in the papers).  If it was British, we didn’t want it.  If they didn’t want us to have it, we took it by the boatload.

We didn’t need a law surrounding guns as we mostly carried them anyway.  Without grocery stores, people generally had to shoot what they ate and for that they needed guns.  Law enforcement was sporadic and localised so people with anything worth taking had to defend it themselves.  Again, the trusty firearm was called for.  These were the only legitimate reasons a private citizen needed a firearm and this remains true today.  You don’t hunt deer or duck with an assault rifle.  Should an intruder enter your home and you haven’t stopped him by the sixth shot from your pistol, a seventh is little more than noise polution.  There simply is no justification for allowing automatic weapons to be owned or sported by other than the military and only simple-minded, insecure halfwits like Alex Jones could find a true argument to the contrary.  But he also thinks Bush ordered the attack on 9/11 and Russia is a giant space ship that came here from the planet Glignon27 to enslave us.  Let him speak at every gun and anti-gun rally.  He’s the best possible spokesman for gun control I can imagine.  In fact, I’m inviting him to the next conference on planned parenthood.

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Have We Completely Run Out Of Ideas?

I was watching television the other night and saw something so incredibly bad that it drove me to wonder how it came to be before me in the first place.  How was this horrific concept presented and who listened to this half-thought out lunacy and thought, “Hmm.  Its better than anything I’ve heard recently.  Let’s pump a few million into it.”  What were they listening to, I wonder?

I remember Bewitched. A fun sitcom about a mixed marriage between a witch and a mortal. I liked how Darren used his position as an ad exec to explain the weird goings on in the Stevens household. He and his boss would pop in and find a unicorn in his living room and Darren would, after a few exaggerated facial expressions, smile and introduce his boss to the new image for a car they’re representing.

“How about the Unicorn, Larry? Legendary gas mileage. Pretty great, eh?”

It wasn’t. Now every time I see a commercial or concept so inexplicably bad that I’m driven to wonder how such an atrocity ever made it to public airing, I call it a Darren Stevens. Something truly bizarre must have happened to allow this to seem like a good idea. Witchcraft, maybe. That would almost explain such concepts as casting Pierce Brosnan in a musical.

Movies, you see, have often crossed the line. I was appalled by last years’ release depicting Abraham Lincoln as a super hero vampire killer. I’ve written some pretty good stories but still had to fight my way through the thousands of other good stories to try to get a publisher’s attention. This is because there are good writers with new thoughts to be expressed in abundance. So what enormous bet must someone have lost to allow this laughable excuse for a storyline to find its way to the screen? Is this any way to pay homage to one of the greatest figures in American History? Is this a direction we in the creative or entertainment world want to take?

My fear is that this may spark a trend of salvaging truly bad scripts or manuscripts by recasting the lead as a pre-accepted historical figure. The public already likes them so the hack story has a foot in the viewing or reading audience’s door despite the total lack of credibility, creativity or talent.

But perhaps I’m being overly cynical. Perhaps this is why so many creative works never see the light of day.  We may simply be trying too hard.  This substitute for talent and hard work may in fact be a new and viable form of creativity. Perhaps exploiting the memory of historical heroes for a cheap buck is a good thing. Think of the endless possibilities.

Young George Washington tells his father, “I cannot tell a lie, Father. I chopped down your cherry tree… when my space ship crash landed on your planet.”  Washington – ET Patriot!

“I have a dream… of driving all the demons out of the White House!”                                                                                                                                                                Martin Luther King – Presidential Exorcist

“Old Soldiers never die… Until I chop their zombie heads off with my magic sabre”                                                                                                                                       General Douglas MacArthur versus the Army of the Undead!

 The possibilities are endless. And America doesn’t hold the patent on greed, bad taste and sensationalism. Britain has every right to jump onto the bandwagon.

This is England’s finest hour…  I know because I went back in time to diffuse Hitler’s bomb and change the course of history!”                                                Churchill- Time Minister.

Hey. That’s good. I’m calling Paramount right now!

You can find more about Donovan Galway at the Second Wind Publishing website!donovan-galway/c1ap8 and the usual places. Amazon, Google, or by liking Donovan on Facebook.


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