God help me, I’m a Nebraskan

Yesterday I was interviewed on our local radio station to promote One Too Many Blows To The head. Afterward, I found I couldn’t remember everything I said. So I came home and played the podcast. Ugh.

I’m a Nebraskan. From the time I was born I was trained to speak in the twang that identifies the Midwesterner’s accent. This is never more noticeable to me than when I hear a recording of myself speaking to a non-Midwesterner.

I could go on about this for some time . . . about how we tend to talk completely from our frontal sinuses and don’t lift the soft palate high enough and rarely use our diaphragms to project our voices. But that is rather boring and, what with being snow-bound and all, I want to do as little as possible to bore myself. And the last thing I want to do, dear reader, is bore YOU. So let me say this: if you imagine Cindi Lauper’s voice without the New Jersey flavor, you have Nebraska.

So there you go. Free character study of the Midwest dialect. But not really what I want to talk about today.

As I listened to the recording of myself after yesterday’s interview I got to thinking about how different we Miswesterners are. I’d be lying if I said that the east coast hasn’t been a bit of a culture shock to me after spending a lifetime in farm country. So I’ve struggled to find some common ground—something in Virginia that is the same back home.

Waving is a big thing in Nebraska. Everyone waves at everyone. If you head east on a state highway, you are expected to wave at all west bound travelers. If you are a pedestrian in town and a car passes you, the driver will wave. You will wave back.

However, although Nebraskans wave more often and to everyone, I’ve noticed that the types of waves on both the east coast and in the Midwest are the same. Virginians do, in fact wave. True, they only wave at people they know rather than at everyone, but they do wave. Here are a few waves and their appropriate uses. If you ever write about waving in your work, I do hope you will consult this list.

There’s the finger wave—one finger lifted as a sort of “hello, I see you” gesture usually done by drivers.

The nod—this is a lowering of the chin. It can be confused with the backwards nod (see below) but shouldn’t be. Older men use the nod. Younger men use the backwards nod. The nod is done only once and just before the instant of passing whoever it is you’re waving at.

The backwards nod—a jerk of the chin in an upward motion. This is done by younger guys and is considered way cooler than the regular nod. However, if an older guy does the backward nod, he’s considered an idiot and needs to totally get over himself.

The elbow in the window wave—elbow resting on the window, hand lifted just slightly. This wave is popular with men in rural areas.

The hand flap—Hand is held palm facing out. Fingers are bent downward to the palm repeatedly. It’s best to imagine a grown woman waving like a toddler. Then you’ve got this one down. This is favored by mothers with very young children.

The finger twinkle—used by teachers and daycare workers who are surrounded by young children. In this wave the palm is facing outward and the fingers are rapidly moved up and down in a cascading fashion.

The salute—done by non-military folks who work with military people or done by people who think saluting is cool but really have no idea how it is done.

The flat palm—this is the one I use. Hold the hand up, palm out. Keep it steady. Hold for about 2 or 3 seconds.

The wave—the true wave, hand is palm out and keeping elbow and wrist steady, tilt hand side to side. Very few people actually use the true wave.

Now, go and practice. And by all means, let me know if I’ve missed any!

JB Kohl

Always more ideas

by Eric Beetner

I often stress out about making blog posts. My own personal blog doesn’t get much updating even though I promise to get better. But really, when I don’t have anything to say, why reach to make something interesting that is not. 

Fiction though? There are endless ideas. It could be I just don’t find my own life all that interesting or maybe I’m just shy about self-promoting but I find it truly easy to write about made-up people and find it a struggle to write about my own doings.

When I was grinding through the mill of screenwriting I never got discouraged when a script didn’t sell. “Not what we’re looking for” “We have something else like this in development” “We lost our funding” All are reasons I heard for a script dying on the way to the big screen. I even had a chance to sell a script on the contingency that I do a major rewrite I was not comfortable with. I passed. (the money was crap anyway) I told them to have someone else do the rewrite so they could do it without feeling attached to anything in the story. I let it go. Why? There are always more ideas.

If a story isn’t working, I abandon it. If a story doesn’t sell, I put it aside. Keep moving forward, I say. Writing begets writing and it can be so easy to get bogged down trying to rework a piece into perfection that you never move on to the next tale waiting to be told.

I’ll never stop writing, unless my brain shuts down and decides it is done I guess. Even if that happens, I’ll be fine with it. Leave it behind and move on to the next thing. Until that time, which I hope never comes, I will do my best to keep putting on paper all the ideas that come into my head, to scrap the bad ones, finish the good ones and never put off an idea to obsess over one I should be done with. My best idea may be my next. That theory resets every time I write The End.

Recognition

We all secretly crave it, don’t we?

Recognition.

No matter what we do in life, whether it’s to get a problem eater to try peas or to crack the genetic code, deep down we all wish for the same thing: Recognition. For that one person to notice us and in noticing us, to let us know we are doing a good job. It doesn’t have to be anything grand, just a simple “well done” will do. But that simple gesture can go a long way to helping us validate our own self-worth.

If you’re a writer, that validation comes in the form of someone saying, “I loved your book.” There are no sweeter words than those – except, perhaps, “So when’s the next one coming out.” For a writer, this is more important than an award, more important than critical acclaim, for when a reader tells you that they love what you wrote, that is the culmination of your life’s work. Validation. Proof that all those months, if not years, of slaving over your masterpiece were well worth all of the blood, sweat and tears you wrung out of yourself in the process. And although I, for one, write the stories for myself first before deciding if I will share them with the public, secretly I yearn for that recognition. For someone to read what I wrote and say, “Hey, this is good.”

If you’re anything like me, it takes a lot to get from the just-for-me-stage to the ready-for-prime-time stage for two reasons: 1) I have a wicked internal editor who is constantly dogging my steps, driving me to perfection and goading me with the possibility that I might never achieve it because what I am putting down onto paper is drivel; and 2) I also have a fear of recognition. Deep down, I fear that someone will read what I wrote and proclaim it utter crap.

So you see, Recognition is a double-edged sword; it can cut either way.

What are your thoughts on Recognition? I’m curious to know.

Margay Leah Justice, author of Nora’s Soul

In the Zone by Sherrie Hansen

I thought being in the zone was an appropriate topic since it’s Superbowl weekend and everyone is thinking about End Zones.

While I’m not quite in the end zone of Waterlily, the second book in my Maple Valley trilogy, I’m deep into revisions, writing new scenes, getting to know my characters better and making great progress – in the zone.

A writer I greatly admire from my just Cherry Writers critique group, Robin LaFevers, once led an online workshop where she asked us to identify our character’s greatest fears. What is he or she afraid of? Then, what is he or she really afraid of. Then, what is he or she REALLY, REALLY afraid of? Discovering these often hidden truths about your characters speaks to their motivation, helps you understand what they might do or how they might respond to situations, and can lead to the black moment, when they come face to face with their biggest fear. (Forgive me, Robin, if I’m misquoting you.)

This morning, while laying in bed thinking, then later, talking to my husband, I finally put my finger on what Michelle’s greatest fear is. Now, I hope to make the black moment reflect her deepest insecurity. Waterlily will be a better book because of it.

I also wrote a scene last night that I think is one of my best ever – clear protagonist, antagonist, goals, value change – it meets all the criterion, and it’s funny, too. I read it out loud to my husband last night and we were both cracking up so hard I couldn’t continue.

Is writing seasonal, like winter, spring, summer and fall – like football, baseball, or basketball seasons? Are there times when the words flow, when a flood of new ideas washes over you, and conversely, are there times when the well seems completely dry?

Whatever the triggers might be for me (I’m not sure I fully know or understand why this varies so much for me), I’m certainly glad I’m in THE ZONE. And for what it’s worth, I’ll probably be typing the whole time the Superbowl is on TV.

Here’s hoping your team wins!

Searching For a New Title

If you’re anything like me, you spend a long time coming up with the perfect title for your novels and short stories. Some writers give their manuscripts numbers or nicknames until they’ve found something ideal. PublishersMarketplace often lists sales of projects as “Working Title” because agents and editors know the title pitched isn’t perfect/already recently exists/hasn’t been approved by the editing committee.

The title is one of the elements I always know when I begin a novel. Every title I’ve attached to my works has at least 4-5 different meanings to the piece.

I write thrillers, and one word titles seem to work best for this genre. Lisa Gardner’s titles Gone, Hide and Alone come to mind. And of course the Twilight blockbuster trilogy which has made one-word titles such a hit.

The title for my debut thriller novel is perfect: Staccato. This definer, along with the cover photo of hands clasped in handcuffs, hovering over a piano keyboard, give the perfect set-up. I had the Staccato title from day one of story conception and was thrilled when Second Wind Publishing agreed to keep my original title and the cover concept.

Now I’m polishing the second book in the Steven Hawk/Inola Walela series and I’m rethinking the original title: Ice on Fire. Yes, there are problems . . . people are constantly calling the project Fire on Ice, which has been used as a title before. To me, these titles have completely different meanings and implications, but not to others. And the visual of a jagged edge chunk of ice with fire licking upward would make a really cool cover photo.

But after spending time with my writer friend, Jeffrey Siger, who’s second novel Assassins of Athens just came out from Poisoned Pen Press, I’m thinking I should not only go with a compelling one-word title, but completely redo my existing title’s concept. Jeffrey suggested I stick with the music theme since the plot also involves the music world (this time a rock star is in peril). I think that’s a great idea, so I’ve been kicking around options and looking through music term glossaries.

And so, for the first time ever I’m considering a different title that the one I originally came up with. Nothing has rung my bell yet, but I like: Resonance, Vibrato, Cadence, Velocity (my favorite so far, but not really a musical term unless I add another term to it) Frequency, Counterpoint. Any one-word suggestions for the title of the next book would be greatly appreciated!

What about you? Have you ever needed to change the “perfect” title of one of your novels?

Deborah J Ledford is the author of the debut suspense thriller novel Staccato, now available from Second Wind Publishing, Amazon, Kindle, and independent book stores.

Squeezing Molasses

A few months ago, I felt like I was slogging through a muddy puddle of words that threatened to trap me in sludgy muck as I struggled to write clearly and coherently. The ideas were sharp and tart in my brain, but as soon as I put pen to paper (or keyboard to computer), the stories inside the creative part of my mind began to dull. I felt I was squeezing molasses words through a pin-sized hole.

Is this writer’s block? I’ve always viewed writer’s block as creativity drying up and the muse leaving for greener pastures. I never thought of the block as something to do with the actual physical part of writing: committing words to paper.

It was a strange sensation. I could picture the stories, but the words on paper did not convey my original intent and the gist of my tale came out differently than I originally imagined it or sometimes, not at all. Like a movie in slow-motion, my words became woefully stagnant.

I’m getting over the hump. Without resorting to therapy or alcohol, I realized I was simply trying too hard. I was forcing myself to write, and, like leading a horse to water, I was leading myself to a blank paper, but I couldn’t make myself write.

Forced writing doesn’t work for me. Deadlines do. It’s a crazy thing, but when I have a set time to finish something, I’m a Tasmanian devil. Left to my own devices, I write when the mood hits – loose and free and off the cuff.

We’re all writers, in one form or another, whether it’s a full-blown novel or a memory jotted down in a notebook. How do you get over the block?

(A plug for my Saints: Who Dat! Black and Gold all the way!)

J J Dare, author of Joe Daniel’s “False Positive” and “False World,” and numerous short stories

Groundhog Ruminations

 

I remember when there were only a few members of the “inner circle” with top hats, Victorian black coats and silly, fake aboriginal names like “Thunder Maker” and “Cloud Rider” up on that stage. This thing has really taken off since the “Groundhog Day” movie back in 1993.  The ever-growing numbers in the “inner circle” and yearly attendees prove that.

The custom comes from German settlers, who, in the old country, may have looked for bears or badgers to awaken as an indicator of spring. In southeastern PA, you can still find a few “Grundsow” Lodges, where for the day, Pennsylvania Dutch only is spoken. (English results in a fine!)  The dawn celebration includes speeches, skits and traditional foods. I’d be willing to bet the original attendees waited at the burrow to see if the hibernating creature (whatever!) would emerge. If the critter was awake, the weather had likely been warm enough to rouse it from sleep. An early spring—a signal to get ready for planting–could be safely predicted.

Today’s Phil is, according to Punxsutawney legend, 120 years old, but anyone can see he’s been recently replaced. His newest incarnation is a slender, gentle young groundhog who first appeared on stage a few years back. (He had a runny nose yesterday, and I hope he’s feeling okay!)

This youngster replaced an earlier, massively obese old fellow who probably reached the end of his decade-in-captivity life span. The older groundhog was far less human friendly, and did wonderfully entertaining things, like peeing on his handlers and chewing on their gloved hands. To me these acts of defiance were an important part of the show. After all, they’d dragged the poor beast out of his nice warm cage in town and brought him out in the middle of fireworks, flashing cameras, TV lights and a host of enthusiastic people (many of them, I’m sorry to report, drunk) screaming at the top of their lungs: “Phil-Phil-Phil!” Heck, such treatment would unnerve anybody, not to mention a poor, overweight groundhog. Of course, not being eaten after being dragged out of your warm burrow is a definite improvement over the treatment many groundhogs received in the protein-starved  mid-winter past.

February 2 is also Candlemas on the Christian calendar, a/k/a The Feast of the Purification of the Virgin. In medieval times it was one of the “cross-quarter” days on which bills were paid, workers hired and contracts drawn, important in every market town. Both the religious observance and the business deals go back even further, into pagan times. Even the most casual observer can see that the days are growing longer now, and of course, the ancients, who were formidable astronomers, had noticed this fact.

February 2, known as Imbolc in the Celtic calendar, was sacred to the red-haired Mother Goddess Bridget, who tended a magical cauldron, and who was patroness of poetry and all the “arts of civilization.” Weather prediction was part of her festival, too, as the time of the spring planting was of vital importance.

And the Winners Are . . .

Thank you everyone who stopped by to participate in our new release party. The winners of the three ebooks are:

Kim C. — Backstop

Hurrie — Stormy Weather

Liza Quisisem  – A Gentleman Never Tells

Congratulations to the winners! For everyone else, there are free downloads at the Second Wind Website: Freebies

There is still a chance to win a signed copy of Backstop — J. Conrad Guest is sponsoring a contest, and all you have to do is write 200 words about your most memorable baseball date. You can find the information here: Backstop Launch Celebration

You also still have a chance to win a signed copy of A Gentleman Never Tells — Jerrica Knight Catania is offering a quiz for all you regency buffs. You can find the quiz here:  Regency Quiz and Giveaway!

And if storms are your thing, you can win a book and photos of stormy weather from Sherrie Hansen: Stormy Weather Contest – Check It Out!

And finally, there are puzzles for everyone. Just click on a cover and have fun!

Computer trouble? Just call Customer Service

Recently, to avoid the robot phone menus, I tried using online chat.  What follows are the high points of  my  recent online technical support session:

YOU ARE NOW CONNECTED TO OUR ONLINE CUSTOMER HELP EXPERT.
Agent: Hello. My name is Bob. How can I help you?
Me: My computer has been crashing for two weeks, ever since I installed your software. The error message says your software is causing it.
Bob: I appreciate that this matter has been ongoing for some time, and understand the frustration this would cause. I apologize for any inconvenience. Please be assured that I will do my best to help you. Please tell me what you are doing when the error message comes up.
Me: My computer crashes at all different times. Originally it was only when I used your software. Because of this, I finally just uninstalled it. But my computer is still crashing at random times, with the same error message.
(I list the multitude of instances.)
Bob: I am so very sorry to hear that you are having this problem. I will be very pleased to help you in any way I can. Which version of our software are you using?
(I give Bob information about the product.)

Bob: So, am I correct in saying that you bought ____ and that your computer is crashing now?

Me: Yes.

Bob: I deeply apologize that you are having this problem with our software. What is the error message you are getting?

(I tell him what the error message is. Thinking that perhaps I’ll get better help, if I just ask a direct question.
Me: What is a debugger? I looked up that error message and I’m not the only one with this problem after installing your program, but none of the fixes that were suggested have worked for me.

Bob: That just means that a program has crashed. Every time a program quits running suddenly, you are getting this error.

Me: Yes, but the cause of this is your software!

Bob: May I ask you some information about your computer?
(He has me go into SYSCONFIG, DXDiag etc., meanwhile giving me his deepest sympathies. I’m beginning to wonder if his day job is at a   funeral home.)
Bob: Based on my research and experience, this issue can be caused by incompatible third party programs or corrupted driver.
Me: In other words, you’re saying it has nothing to do with your software?

Bob: Did you try uninstalling the software and installing it again?

(I try to strangle the keyboard. Bob is lucky this isn’t a phone call.)

Me: I told you, I already uninstalled it. Then, I did install it again. Twice.
Bob: I am very sorry to hear this. Did you use the Microsoft uninstaller?
Me: Yes.
Bob: Okay, Miss. I am sending you some links. I want you to first download RegistryNuke.exe and run it. After that, download BitsofCrapExterminator.exe and run that. Then…
(Bob sends me four more links to download other utilities that sound equally nefarious.)
Me: Are you sure these things are safe to use?
Bob: I am sorry but I can’t guarantee software made by any other company. I appreciate your cooperation in doing this. After you finish, go ahead and install our product again.
Me: Can’t you help? I’m never sure which files are safe to get rid of.
Bob: I do apologize, but we do not support products that are not made by us. Is there anything else I can help you with?

To this day, I still have the same error message and my computer is still crashing. I did get a full refund when I returned the software.

Mickey Hoffman is the author of a mystery, School of Lies, published by Second Wind Publishing.

Win Free Romance Ebooks This Weekend Only!

We are celebrating the release of three new novels, and we are giving you the prizes! All you have to do is mention the name of the book or books that you would like to read, and if you are one of three lucky persons chosen at random, then you will receive a book.

To find out more about the books, check out the new releases on our website: Second Wind Publishing. 

To find out even more, click on a title below to read the first chapter:

Backstop

A Gentleman Never Tells

Stormy Weather

We are also offering a contest, quizzes, and puzzles here: Help Us Celebrate Three New Releases!

So please hang around, and let’s have fun!